standing on a grassy ledge
by princ3ssf33t
Summary: But being up here, away from the rest of the Tracy's, away from the rest of the world, she could finally stop what she was pretending to be. Because she wasn't a Tracy. In where Kayo does some reflecting.


It was the third time that year she found herself standing on the ledge. She could feel each individual blade of grass between her toes. The wind that blew up from the sea below her and tossed her hair about. It wasn't often that she let it down. But being up here, away from the rest of the Tracy's, away from the rest of the world, she could finally stop what she was pretending to be.

Because she wasn't a Tracy.

Of course she partook in the "family business" and was practically raised at the side of the Tracy brothers, but she was no Tracy. She lacked the transparency that they all had with one another. She would always, always, always have her secrets. Those were not something that she would give up.

And she knew that the Tracy's thought well of her. She knew that if they had found out they wouldn't just abandon her. They weren't that type of people. They just weren't. They spent nearly every moment they had going around the world rescuing complete strangers from life and death situations. Even those people they had little enthusiasm for were treated kindly and with respect.

It still didn't stop her fears though.

Every time she faced off against the Hood, her Uncle, she couldn't help but feel that self-doubt and fear seep back into her system again. That this would be the time that they found out. This would be the time where they decide not to act as they always did. That she would find herself alone, without anyone she loved right there beside her.

It would be easy to take two steps and leave before they had a chance to confront her on the truth. She couldn't do that though. Even at the times where she had been tempted. Oh so tempted. Because Jeff was gone at the hands of her uncle. The man that almost became a second father would never return because of her blood relative. The guilt via association was almost too much to bear. But in the end, she hadn't been able to do it. They had needed her in that moment and she couldn't leave them to suffer alone. Not like her.

She loved them too much for that.

And there were times where she thought that they knew. About it all. Everything. They would open their mouths to say something, only to shake their heads and dismiss it from their minds. She half-hoped that they did know already. Then she wouldn't have to worry about dropping a bomb at their feet and wait for the explosion. It would make her job easier.

It was the third time that she had gone up against the Hood this year. It was the third time she had climbed to this tiny spot of green and stood looking out of the ocean as the sun set behind her. It was the third time she reevaluated who she was and what she was about. And she was sick of it.

She didn't want to hide it anymore. It was tearing her apart on the inside, and she knew it. She knew that if she were to go down to them and make the attempt to explain everything, she would be unable to speak. It would end up right there, feeling the grass between her toes again.

Her wrist communicator buzzed and John's floating torso appeared.

"The guys would like to know where you are Kayo," he said.

She forced a grin to her face.

"Oh you know, just watching the sunset. It's quite beautiful you know."

And there it was again. The look that told her he knew more than he let on. The look that almost had her begging for him to just spit it out and confront her.

"Are you sure you're alright down there? Do you need me to come down?" His tone was similar to the one his father used when he was worried about his boys.

"No. I'm alright. There's no need for you to come down at every little thing that worries you." She attempted to brush off the concern and the offer. They both knew that if she indicated in any slight way, he would come within the hour.

"Okay. But I'm only a space-elevator away if you need me, and feel free to give me a call. I'm here for you. We all are." The slight smile was back on his face and he looked more like his old self again.

"Thanks John."

"Now I would hurry if I were you. Grandma made an apple pie in celebration and we wouldn't want Scott to get there first. He's trying to find a way to eat the whole thing in one bite."

She smiled. Yes, that would be something Scott would aspire to figure out. She turned to grab her shoes from the rock where she'd left them.

"And Kayo? Happy Birthday."

Before she could respond he was gone again. And she was left alone with her thoughts. The sudden silence sent a shiver through her. Things didn't seem so bleak when she was with them, virtually or not, as when she was alone. Because that was the one other thing that the Tracy's had. The ability to give others hope.


End file.
